I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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