im holly from the hills drunk
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
