yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Randomize
