How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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