Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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