I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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