let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
