Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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