i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
