I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
