We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
there is puke in my bra ... again
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
