We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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