Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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