She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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