doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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