I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
