Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
