fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
