Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
fuck your aforementioned shoe
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
