Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
