Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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