I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
