My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
