I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
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