im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
