big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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