Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
