Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
