As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
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