I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
