i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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