I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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