Already got asked if we're dating
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
