I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
