bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
