yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
