Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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