There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
