i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Drake has all the answers
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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