Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize