I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
