is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Mom said you looked used
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
