So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
