puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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