I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
