You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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