so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
