eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
