This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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