Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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