Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
May the power of my ass compel you!!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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