you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
