Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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