erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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