Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Randomize