HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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