I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
