Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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