tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
