The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize