There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
