woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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