sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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