is your mom at the bar?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
