I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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