i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
