Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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