Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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