just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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