I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
