Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
