Banned from zoo.
Again?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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