I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
