Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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