She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
