Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
