i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
